Yesterday was Valentines Day. Im 21 years old and Ive never been in a relationship long enough to celebrate this, “Valentines Day”.
Every year since the age of 17, when I realized what this day is all about, I always imagined i would get a surprise card or message or text or any form of communication from a secret admirer asking me to be their Valentine. Every year it would be a different story. One year it would be someone I was crushing on at that point in time. An other year would be a famous celebrity I wouldn’t stop obsessing about. Of course I felt like a loser everytime.
This year, I didnt even remember it was Valentines Day ON Valentines Day. It didnt even cross my mind. Being a busy person really does affect you. I had to have been reminded of it 4 times. Whether it was a friend wishing me, or some post I saw on Facebook. Its almost like I have given up on my love life for good. I know, “Valentines Day is not the only day of Love” and all that nonsense but, its still a day that is recognized in so many countries and countries i didnt even know existed. So no. Its not stupid, cheesy and girly to dream of love. Its human nature.
I feel dry and whither inside for not being able to have one of those fantasies I used to have when i was younger.